A lack of communication can have the opposite effect. Both partners have to be consistently open with each other, communicating honestly. In fact, the importance of communication should be considered right from the courtship days as it sets the right foundation of the relationship. 50 LinkedIn Influencers To Follow, No Matter Your Industry, 10 Steps To Help You Make Your First Million Dollars, 5 Bad Habits You Need To Break If You Want To Be Successful. Tips for good listening include: Open and clear communication can be learnt. At these times, when the "context" of the other person and the relationship status is more accurately understood, it becomes easier to give someone some time to cool off. This page has been produced in consultation with and approved by: When we express ourselves to the people we love, fewer things go unsaid. Giving advice or being judgmental suddenly seems condescending and patronizing. Sharing your happiness with someone, openly, sets a mood of happiness that helps to create more of the same. © 2020 by Tango Media Corporation All Rights Reserved. Thus, you will feel closer to one another and have a much easier flow in your relationship. Rachael Pace is a noted relationship writer associated with Marriage.com. If you found yourself in a crowded public place and began to ask strangers what they felt the most important factor of a marriage was…what do you think they would say? But communication is the vehicle through which all other important parts of marriage are performed. The other night at dinner, a man asked, “What do you suggest my girlfriend and I do to maintain good communication in our relationship?” What came to mind was all of the bad communication that I have observed between couples trying to have conversations with each other. You’ll get access to all of our online tools so you can learn new skills and start building a better relationship. Get the help you need from a therapist near you–a FREE service from Psychology Today. Studies show that those who communicate well excel in business, in the workforce and among peers. Buy them a thoughtful gift, give them a massage, or help them with a troubling task. You could also consider doing a course that is relevant to your relationship. They were full of suggestions about how the other one could improve and be a better partner but had few ideas about themselves. Love is, and this is going to sound corny, a lot like a flower. Arguments often begin because we misunderstand the context or meaning of what the other person is trying to say. Or, sometimes it is because one person is afraid what they might say will really hurt the other person, and they don’t want to do that. You can help to improve your communication by: To improve the way you communicate, start by asking questions such as: If possible, ask these questions with your partner and share your responses. Breaking up is a tough time. Once you have activated a link navigate to the end of the list to view its associated content. Your relationship becomes simpler, leaving both of you less stressed and, ultimately, happier. Learn more. A gateway to the strategies, policies, programs and services delivered by the Department of Health & Human Services. A conversation with your partner is not a battle that you have to win. As you build a better “context” of each other, you will see the positive benefits that occur when you understand one another more accurately. If your spouse is doing something that bothers you to your core, but you’re silent on the subject, your, and trust will only allow the action to continue. The other person, however, often wants to get away from their mate in order to stop the argument because it is so uncomfortable. Men often have more difficulty with this context building. Going on an ice cream run for your pregnant wife. It’s also a sign of a healthy relationship. One of the greatest gifts in any relationship is being able to express your genuine happiness to someone. This kind of hard work is a big part of why many relationships fail in the long run. Share positive feelings about your partner with them. And every relationship we go into brings entirely new factors into play. What things don’t you talk about and what stops you talking about them? When your partner tells you about an incident, try to put yourself in his or her place. Talk about your thoughts and feelings about yourself, and your partner can talk about him or herself. If you’re hunched over and closed off while trying to have an important conversation, your partner will subconsciously feel that lack of vulnerability. Being able to tell your spouse how wonderful they are will make them feel loved, appreciated, and in touch with how you feel. Want to have a happier, healthier marriage? You can’t go through life with your wife or husband holding all of your dissatisfaction inside. Words don’t have to be spoken; your actions will speak for themselves. Verbal communication, being able to express how you feel to your spouse through the words that you speak, is essential to effective communication. This is especially true when it is with someone who wants to invest in the relationship and is willing to put the work in and to “show up”. Love? These 8 Predictors Can Tell the Answer. Open communication lets you build trust in the relationship, which in turn makes way for free communication. Everyone likes to hear that they are loved. Honesty? Such type of communication is key to a long-term relationship. Relationships can be tough. Focusing on yourself interrupts the blame game that’s so easy for a couple to get caught up in. Sometimes the love in a relationship just dies down, and there’s nothing you can do to revive it. That open and honest verbal communication will become an investment with a vast return as the years go by. You carry it within you into your relationships. Acting hurt or victimized seems childish and self-indulgent. It takes time to develop trust, as they say, and not without good reason. Mark Twain said: “If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything”. Be aware of how your body language is communicating with your partner. What Do Guys Think of Other Guys' Beards? If the issue you are having is not that important, try to let the issue go, or agree to disagree. He doesn’t say that because he would likely feel too vulnerable and exposed. Most People Feel Lonely Too. Listen with your heart. Making dinner. There is a feeling of confidence, respect, security and trust, true love and positivity in the relationship when there is assertive communication involved. It will take a good balance of the trio to show your spouse how much they mean to you as time passes. So, when you two might be at “odds” over a particular subject, you will feel more emotionally safe in saying what you want to say because of the understanding, or “context” that you are building. We open our mouth and some sentences come out. Being able to communicate how much your wife or husband means to you is where your marriage goes from good to great. The relationship should be cordial in a way that both parties are free with each other and they can access each other anytime when need be. Sign up for an account. Love? Your body should show your spouse that you are open to hearing what they have to say and are willing to work through it. Psychotherapy and Counselling Federation of Australia (PACFA). If you can communicate honestly, your marriage has a good chance of being happy and healthy. So if you understand the importance of communication in marriage, you will not take verbal communication with your partner lightly. You will each know and understand all of the good things you both really want in the relationship and how disappointed you feel after an argument. ", you can say, "I really don’t want us to be disconnected. Have You Ever Wished Your Kids Will Beg To Do Their Chores? Loyalty in Relationships: What Does It Look Like? Effectively communicating within a couple allows both parties to develop their respect for each other. If you are still wondering why is communication important in a. or how important is communication for a married couple, read on. But communication is the vehicle through which all other important parts of marriage are performed. Concentrate on the major problem, and don’t get distracted by other minor problems. ONLY TALK ABOUT YOURSELF! In relationships, it can be a good thing to know that someone is actually there to talk to us about anything at all. A New Personality Test Also Gauges Mental Health, Researchers Find Increased Sexual Risks In Adults Over 45, The Relationship Between Personality and Sexual Orientation, The Emotional Impact of the Prolonged Pandemic, Creating a Life of Meaning and Compassion, Communication Competence in Your Marriage: The Basics, I Still Love You, but I Don’t Always Like You, 3 Reasons Why Couples Have the Same Fights Over and Over. Dorothy M Neddermeyer, PhD. Throughout your life, the number and strength of your relationships affect your mental and physical wellbeing. Showing your appreciation makes the other person feel validated and valued. member, or spouse that was met with an unpleasant facial expression. The kind that got you to fall in love in the first place. The problem comes when we don’t communicate our hardships with each other.