Funnily enough, though, I recently went through a different break up, and felt exactly the same way as I did the first time around. Anything that is broken and taken away by times have served their purpose and would have been a burden like the over staying guests if they were to continue. Am I releasing too much of any expectation at all? Most of us remain like children all our lives because everyone is looking for love. “To love and to need love are two very different things. I went through a similar situation and can really relate to the point you made about letting go of expectations. I think this is harmful advice. And once, you realize you are love, you do not go outside seeking for love and affection. Even though this story contains life lessons from a broken heart (a painful break up), its lessons are applicable to many other life situations. Here’re 10 important life lessons you should learn early on: 1. You are the source of all joy, love, peace, and bliss. The biggest lesson and blessing of a one-sided love or unrequited love affair is that it gives you an opportunity to go directly to the source of love – your own self, instead of seeking it outside. Meade’s Life Lessons from a Broken Heart reminds the reader of this. “Love is not simply giving; it is judicious giving and judicious withholding as well. Having nothing to lose made me fearless with the people I met—more open, more willing to connect in different ways. One of the best life lessons that Meade offers, which can apply to any type of heartbreak, is that we have the power to change ourselves. Was it ten minutes? In my perception, living in a world where people generally expect instant gratification or answers to pop out of no where, doesn’t help such situations. 20 hours ago, by Perri Konecky “Can’t we just we go on vacation without you pointing out how Disney washes and waxes every bus every night.” Here’s my latest “aha moment.”. You carry unhealed childhood wounds and/or thought the wrong thoughts and will keep “attracting” the same heartbreak until change. Many of those details are difficult to write about because of the personal emotions triggered by the event. That’s why it’s so awesome. Sign up for Beliefnet's Your Health and Happiness newsletter. Highly trained health care professionals were the key to both my dad’s and my survival and recovery. How did her priorities shift as she got older and gained more experience? Love makes the world move. And only love and its failure can throw you inside. What should I do with my life? We also need to support local efforts to increase both the number and quality of health-care professionals graduating from programs. But the paradox is that while we ourselves are love, we go on seeking it outside ourselves. There are some really great ideas in this post: the point about equilibrium speaks to me the most. These are such great insights, Kayla. It assumes that you can control love. None of this good could’ve happened. We will get to face the unexpected, some happy and some sad, and may be some which just pass by without touching us. Your email address will not be published. So in a weird way, heartbreak makes you more capable of love. The end of one relationship makes room for the start of another Life Lessons from a Broken Heart Paperback – June 7, 2017 by Selina Meade (Author) Like my first three chapters were all about the heart, love, the like. Not really…. I, on the other hand, wish I know what to ‘visualise’, sometimes, I am afraid that I am just ‘living with the flow’, not expecting anything to avoid disappointments. While the downs are no fun, they don’t usually last forever. The final lesson I want to leave you with is the critical importance family and friends are to your recovery from a health event. Love is the most sought after human experience. When your heart is broken, sure, you may become depressed, but the overwhelming feeling just under it is tremendous sadness, which is tender and gentle. 61? While writing my latest book, The Wisdom of a Broken Heart, I thought long and hard about heartbreak—my own and my friends’. But wonderful, wonderful, wonderful post. To continue viewing content on, please sign in with your existing account or subscribe. Mindfulness practice allows you to place your attention where you would like it to go and, with the mind of heartbreak, this is job #1. There are basically two kinds of books offering standard advice for working with heartbreak—and neither seems particularly helpful. Actually, this isn’t terrible advice. If you feel it begin to slip away, try to bring it back. I’ve since learned how to let go and allow life to just happen, which has ushered in a deep sense of joy that I haven’t experienced before. Even though it doesn’t feel very good at first. Here are some things I’ve learned along the way: While undergoing these drastic life changes, I learned the art of purging—letting go of the people and things that were no longer serving me in a positive way. The most beautiful blessing in disguise of a one-sided love is that it gives you the push and impetus to go within. Heartache is a wicked, cruel, and unfair thing, but it's a universal feeling. Thank you. Meade shares that this book is a result of her own heartbreak. It was easy for me, in the midst of my crisis, to believe that I would never feel complete or whole again, that the wounds I now had would always be exposed. You return it to love, but from a position of power and generosity. I was raised to show respect. It assumes that sadness isn’t supposed to be a part of life. A year ago I would have said that my deepest fears were exactly what has occurred in the past nine months: being broken up with, losing my work, and letting go of friendships I couldn’t imagine myself without. But often it is difficult to realise this at the moment when we’re going through adversities. We need to express our appreciation to health care professionals for the difference they are making in our lives. The following column is the opinion and analysis of the writer: As an educator, I am always looking for life lessons from past experiences that will help change the way we think and act in a positive way. The lessons only make sense once you have resurfaced from the bottom, again. From your story in fact, you had a clear picture of where you were heading to, and yet things did not turn out as expected. 4. In order to reconnect, I had to learn to trust myself again—and listen only lightly to those around me. Take it from someone who is no stranger to heartache, I promise: you become a better and stronger version of you after you've gone through it. She explains that this is the time to be selfish and selfless: “Selfish in a positive way means you give to yourself; selfless means you aren’t so self-absorbed that you don’t think about others.”. What a great post. In some strange way it was liberating to let go of so much at once and get down to the bare bones of who I was and who I wanted to be.