Refinery29 asked therapists, relationship counsellors, psychologists and others how to reassure and help someone in the midst of heartbreak. We have the potential to experience a full range of emotions, including peace, happiness, and love. What you feel is normal. I met a very nice man whom a few months before that his girlfriend whom he called wife took the kis & jus up & left to Canada to stay with her parents. Love coming here for thought provoking, wonderful posts. Find them a song or two about strength, or even a song about friendship. So accept that they need to find their own time and ways to get better. We often wonder: how could I have loved someone so evil, so despicable? i miss the touch a lot.those are great tips, just reading them helps a little, thank you.i love your blog, i read it daily! :). Any song that is meaningful and can make someone smile, send it to them. Maybe they need a night out, or maybe they simply need to be alone. At the end of the day, your friend is lucky to have you as part of their support system during this tough time, and it’s okay if you don’t always say the right thing. A heartbreak is hard to go through and all of the words everyone is saying, just seems to go in one ear and out the other. I’m Proud of You. As a heartbroken person's friend, it can be tempting to offer up practical, concrete tips for finding someone else and getting their life back on track. They will remember you saying that you didn’t like him. I would have loved a friend like yours! Sometimes we need a few days of pretending everything is fine before we can open the flood gates and really do some introspection on the relationship. We Went To Couples Counselling In Our 20s And It Saved Our Relati... How To Take A Relationship Break & Not Have It End In Disaster. Send a beautiful bouquet of flowers to their office (or house) just because—send one with meaning. After graduating from college, I went through a rough breakup…, …I had been dating a guy for almost two years; and, after I moved to New York while he stayed in Michigan, we realized we had grown apart. “You will be happy again.” My mom said this to me in the car years ago, when I was crying after breaking up with my college boyfriend. We want to be affirmed that we made the right decision, we want to be assured that our ex-partner was being ridiculous, we want to see if anyone has better advice than what we’ve been getting from everyone else. I just had a friend go through a break up and I had no idea what to do. We can’t measure how much time it will take, but the good thing is that the sun shines every day and it will get easier day by day and month by month. She's been with this guy for a long time, I think next month would've made a year. I hope you can start to imagine again, take off each rock of the rubble one by one. Having your heartbroken can really distort your reality. My friend Erin recently told me that she gave her best friend a gift certificate for a professional massage, when she was going through a breakup. it’s important to be reminded, again and again and again. When our friends disclose news of a failed relationship, many of us naturally dwell on our friend’s now ex-partner and the relationship itself. Well he has been heartbroken over his little boys. Well…I couldn’t. Instead of focusing on what’s in the past, it might be helpful as a friend to focus on what’s in the future—or more accurately, what your friend needs right now. Now she came to me for advice on how to move forward and I said …. I’ve seen how pain can transform life in ways we don’t really expect it to. You need to make your endless support known to your friend who is likely going through one of the most devastating times of his or her life. 3. Everyone needs a reminder sometimes that they are important, and hearing it from your friends means so much. He will suffer, and you will rise. Tell her how smart/funny/beautiful she is! Inconsistency in Relationships is a Form of Emotional Abuse, 5 Things That Will Help Your Relationship Survive Transition. Are you doing okay? (Photos by Virginia Galvez and Ginthefer). If you’re not sure what to say to a friend after a break up, get started with liquid courage. Here's what they say you should send in any situation. Her and I are going out tomorrow after school(we are both seniors) and then I'm staying at her house. Thank you for reading! There is a new day waiting for us, and pain simply cannot last forever for people like us. Saying congrats is essentially the antithesis of saying “I’m sorry,” and to some it may sound a little insensitive or taboo—but hear me out. Later, she told me that hearing those words gave her hope for finding Mr. Right…. strangely, even reading this was comforting. 3. Even when you are sad, you’re still capable of feeling — meaning, you are still HUMAN. What has helped you when you’re in that situation? Get her a massage. “What else?” You’ll show her that you support her and want her to share all her thoughts–as long as it takes. What also helps so much is just being there… I’ve had friends fly in and take turns spending weekends… friends come spend the night… even friends who just let me lay in their lap and cry.